UBSS Monthly Newsletter

Helen Rossington in the Boulder Chamber, OFD 1.

Good day, at least your editors hope it is!

We’ve had a quiet past month in the club but that’s to be expected during the summer. On the other hand, the Berger trip has just begun so we're sure there'll be plenty of content from that in the next few issues, but in the meantime we have a few pretty piccies for you sent by the folks at the sharp end of the pre-Berger warm-up trips.

Jumping back to this month’s issue we have a couple of trip reports, some memories, interviews, Coniston copper mines and much more for you to enjoy!

And remember, your over-worked, desperately insecure editors love hearing from our adoring public!

Back issues of the newsletter can be found here.

Zac and Linda

FRESHERS' EVENTS 2021

Selenite Tunnel, OFD Top, South Wales.
We're excited to announce our line-up of events for the 2021 Freshers' season, make sure you save the dates!

Our normal venue for welcome events is currently undergoing building works, bear with us whilst we find alternative venues!

Friday 24th & Saturday 25th September - Welcome Fair @ The Downs

Tuesday 28th September @ 19:00 - Welcome Chilli & Caving Games [Location TBC]

Tuesday 5th October @ 20:30 - First caving pub of the new Uni year [The Eldon House, Clifton]

Thursday 7th October @ 19:30 - PUB(SS) Golf [Meet point TBC]

9-10th October - Mendip Freshers' Caving Weekend [The Hut - Burrington Coombe]

22-24th October - South Wales Freshers Caving Weekend [South Wales]

5-7th November - UBSS Bonfire Weekend [The Hut - Burrington Coombe]

26-28th November - CHECC Forum [Yorkshire Dales]

10-12th December - Christmas Weekend [Location TBC]
31st December - New Year's Eve Dinner [The Hut - Burrington Coombe]

For more details, see the Freshers Handbook which can be downloaded from the UBSS website. (Alternatively if you join the UBSS Facebook group you will find it attached there).

There will be Facebook events created with more details and locations. Any amendments will be posted there. Please click 'going' on any posts so we have an idea of numbers. For the Freshers weekends, sign up sheets will be available at socials, or message/email us and we can confirm your place. And if you joined the club last year, don't forget that you need to re-join this year! It only costs a fiver!

Any questions, feel free to message us or drop us an email.

See you underground, yay caving!

Henry Morgan and Merryn Matthews

UBSS FLEECES

Student Prezz Henry Morgan is looking into the possibility of getting UBSS fleeces made through the Students' union as they have a template for student clubs, shown above.

Fleeces will cost £36 each. Postage will be extra if you are outside Bristol. The colour is shown in the above graphic. Henry is looking into the possibility of using the UBSS shield instead of the university one.

The SU have fleeces available for trying the size, the merchandise shop is open Thursdays 10:00-16:00.

If you would like a fleece, let Henry know asap so he can confirm the order with the SU.

RHINO RIFT RE-BOLTED

Both routes in Rhino Rift in use during the re-bolting. Photo copyright Bartek Biela.
Andrew Atkinson has recently completed the work to re-bolt the Right Hand route in Rhino rift following the unsanctioned and utterly incompetent re-bolting otherwise known as an act of complete vandalism by Persons Unknown.

Rigging topos. Direct route top by Chris Binding. Righthand Route topo by Andrew Atkinson.

Please note that Rhino Rift will be closed for trips on 13th November 2021 due to a Mendip Cave Rescue practice.

DISPATCHES FROM THE VERCORS

Grotte de Gournier.
The Berger crew have been arriving in the Vercors over the past week and have done several warm-up trips. The Hon Prezz has kindly messaged us with some photos to whet your appetites for trip reports to come, but at the moment they are all too busy ferrying tackle up to the entrance in preparation for rigging the cave to do any write-ups at this stage of the expedition.

So here we go with a quick photo diary ...

Grotte du Broudour

Grotte de Bournillon

Scialet du Trisou

TRIP REPORT - OFD TOP

Crystal pool on the way to Frozen River.
Linda Wilson has been making use of the UBSS's annual OFD permit this month, with two trips in a fortnight, in an attempt to prove that her constant cries of "Photo stop, folks!" doesn't put people off caving with her.

On 14th August, Clive Owen kindly drove Helen Rossington, Jan Walker and myself out to South Wales to meet Peter Burgess of the Wealdon Cave and Mine Society for a trip into OFD. I'd booked the key on the UBSS permit (very easy to do via text message to Gary, who administers the key system). The weekend was a busy one, but I managed to nab the last key!

Entrance series. Helen Rossington (close to), Peter Burgess (far away).
We walked up the hill in traditionally wet and misty weather and I got even wetter due to the need for the equally traditional last pee before going underground. This was Jan's first time in OFD so we had decided on a fairly standard trip down the Salubrious streamway to the Trident and Judge then to the Shattered Pillar and up to the Frozen River. I've not been there for a very long time and it was very nice to see the stunning helictites and other formations up there although, although my knees protested a bit at the crawl! Peter and I had also forgotten what we dubbed 'the 'orrible 'ole' on the way there - a short, slightly awkward traverse over a pit in the floor. It's one of those manoeuvres that's easier on the way back, so at that stage it became the 'not quite so 'orrible 'ole'.

Helictites, Frozen River
From there we went via the easy traverses and the not quite so easy President's Leap, failing to inspire confidence in Jan and Helen by explaining that it got its name from the incident when SWCC's late President, Peter Harvey, fell off. He survived, I hasten to add! I blithely informed Helen that she'd done it several times before, which she claimed didn't entirely help, as we were quite a bit younger in those days, but with an expressive eye-roll, she quickly proved that we're not decrepit quite yet.

As well as being Jan's first time in OFD, it was also her first time handling traverses, but she took to them like a duck to water, despite being somewhat lacking in the height department, and declared herself quite happy as long as she had somewhere to balance with her hands.

From there we headed to Cross Rift and then across the top of Maypole Inlet and out the way we'd come. A very pleasant time was had by all.

Linda Wilson

TRIP REPORT - OFD 1

Helen pole dancing while Jan watches.
On 29th August, I made use of the UBSS annual permit again for another trip to OFD. This was a busy weekend for SWCC as they were celebrating their 75th club birthday, so with no parking at Penwyllt, we met Peter Burgess over at The Stump (the Wealden cottage), dealt with the usual formalities, and then headed down the hill to OFD 1. The UBSS party consisted of me, Helen Rossington, Jan Walker and Tony Boycott acompanied by Peter and Una Duffy from the Wealden.

As Tony is still suffering badly from the effects of long covid, we set a simple objective of the 1 streamway and back out the same way. We had a very pleasant womble up the streamway with me taking full advantage of the number of bright lights on the party to take some photos, as the last time I'd been in, I'd been by myself with Peter and we really didn't have enough light between the two of us as the black rock absolutely eats light in exactly the same way as the Co Clare caves do.

Streamway with Jan close to and Peter far away. (Yes, dear reader, I am very fond of Father Ted jokes.)
Our trip to the Boulder Chamber was wholly uneventful but on the way back, a very minor slip had unfortunate consequences for Jan as she badly ricked her hip and the hamstring on her left leg. She was naturally comforted by our bracing comments that if she'd broken anything, she would have been yelling a lot more loudly. The phrase "You can trust Tony, he used to be a doctor" might well have been used. I might even have said "Trust me, I'm a lawyer." We also assured Jan that there was no way she was going to need rescuing as it was a party weekend at SWCC and we'd never live it down. At which point I think she started to suspect that we might be planning to kill her and hide the body. It didn't cross our minds, honestly, Your Honour!

Una, a retired nurse, promptly produced paracetamol and ibuprofen, which was probably more useful than our comforting remarks. After a few minutes, Jan felt able to tackle the first of the poles across the water-filled potholes in the streamway. Shuffling across that (and the other three) with one leg out of action was an impressive feat and after that we made remarkably fast progress with Jan and I working together, her arm around my shoulder and mine supporting her around the waist, with Tony providing a helping pull up on her waist loop when needed.

Taken before the three-legged exit. Any rumour that Jan slipped just so she didn't have to pose for more photos is wholly scurrilous.
Despite all the entertainment value of our hoppity skip exit, Jan declared that she'd thoroughly enjoyed the trip and was very impressed by the streamway.

Once out of the cave, we made our way down the track to the bottom of the hill, rather than try to do the three legged race up the steep slope, while Peter hiked quickly up to fetch his car. Leaving Jan, Tony and Una to wait for their taxi service, Helen and I started the long trek back to the Stump. Two thirds of the way up, we succumbed to the need to park our bums on a couple of large rocks and pull off the top half of our oversuits as South Wales was rejoicing in some glorious sunshine for a change. A few minutes before that, we'd gritted our teeth and smiled and waved as Burgess Taxi Services had passed us on the way back up the hill. We definitely weren't jealous, oh no, not at all, and anyway, we still had 10,000 steps to reach, as Fitbits never properly count in caves, much to Helen's (entirely justifiable) irritation!

However, a few minutes later, Peter proved what a true friend he was by coming back to pick us up, too. We quickly stripped off the rest of our kit with Helen looking a bit askance at the prospect of us putting wet, grubby kit into his boot. My response of "Don't worry, it's a caver's car" was met by an "Oi!" of outrage from Peter then Helen's gaze fell on the interior and she took my point. I put my kit on top of hers to keep it clean!

Two very different passage sides. Jan in the green helmet. Peter far away.
After tea and sandwiches in the sunshine and a small amount of retail therapy with Tony Seddon of Starless River over at SWCC, we headed back to Bristol after another very pleasant day's caving.

Linda Wilson

A WOMBLE AROUND CONISTON

Mine entrance on Coniston.
During his summer placement ooop north, Zac has spent some time hill walking and he's never one to pass by a hole in the ground without exploring, so here's a short note on his latest jaunts around the Coniston area.

I was recently told about the copper mines at Coniston in the Lake District, so while I’m still in the area I thought I might as well investigate. But before I could have a look at the mines I needed to climb Old Man Coniston, and yes, while this wasn’t strictly essential to access the mines I thought I’d do it anyway. Unfortunately, the mountain was completely covered in cloud so I didn’t get to enjoy the view. On the way down, though, I passed through the object of my interest, the copper mines.

There are an incredible number of industrial artifacts scattered across the whole mountainside, from the ubiquitous slag heaps to the cable car towers and attached cabling and most importantly mine entrances! Coming across the first one on the way down I donned my helmet and told my walking buddy to call for help should I not return in ten minutes. Ducking into the entrance and waddling round the corner it became apparent that this would be a very short trip as the passageway failed to go any further. So we descended further down the escarpment to a series of ruined mine buildings where I found another tunnel opening and what’s more I could tell this one went somewhere from the cold wind blowing out of it.

Some industrial archaeology on the surface.
So again I donned my helmet and gave my companion the same instructions again before I entered. This one was a long straight entrance tunnel, dripping and pocked with puddles but still traversable in hiking boots. It ended at a drystone wall which had partially collapsed and through which a larger collapsed chamber could be seen. Someone had pitched a tent and a small camp's worth of rubbish in front of the wall. I exited quickly to avoid getting too soaked and then let my friend have a look inside as well. We then descended the rest of the mountain.

The copper mines are a fascinating spot I’d like to visit and cave in again. I didn’t even investigate the next valley over which is lined with them and old buildings so I will definitely be back!

Zac Woodford

THE THREE COUNTIES TRAVERSE 2021

Shuttleworth Pot. Some of the team preparing to carry diving gear into the system. Photo by Russell Myers and used with his kind permission.
Following Bob Churcher's story of the part he played in the original Three Counties Traverse as told in the last newsletter, BCA chair, Russell Myers provided Zac with the following information about the current project involving the traverse, as this provides a great opportunity to visit some of the caves in the near future as part of this project. Russell explains ...

The project which is currently progressing though a preparation stage in anticipation of an attempt on the traverse in late September/early October but this is very weather dependent.

The Traverse aims to do the though trip from one extremity of the Three Counties system to the other by the same cavers, in one go without exiting any of the entrances along the way – what could be described as the ultimate through trip in the UK. This will involve entering the system at Large Pot on the Ireby Fell eastern extremity of the system and exiting from Top Sinks on the Casterton Fell western extremity.

Complete survey of the Three Counties with the Traverse route highlighted and the surface topography overlaid. Created by Patrick Warren and used with permission.
Once the connection had been made in 2010 from Ireby Fell Cavern into the Rift/Large Pot section in the Temple of Doom area, cavers speculated about traversing from one side of the system to the other. A “round robin” email earlier this year, to establish if the concept was doable, triggered a positive response and the CDG Northern section took up the challenge and triggered the project.

The significance of the CDG becomes apparent when considering the length of sumps to be dived, indeed the one from Lost Johns to Pippikin Pot has not yet been dived from one end to the other, albeit dive lines from either end had been connected some time back. This is, perhaps, the most challenging part of the route, the sump being 765 metres with a particularly “gnarly” section at the Pippikin end which the divers are currently looking for a work around through Shuttleworth Pot. Total sump lengths requiring diving during the Traverse will be well over 1 kilometre. Our “surveyor”, Patrick Warren, calculated that the route would be 10.2 kilometres long in total i.e. “dry” and “wet” passages.

Of interest is the coincidence of the proposed Traverse attempt dates, late September is when George Cornes discovered Lancaster Hole, 75 years ago on 29^th September 1946. Needless to say, this coincidence is not driving the project but would add a nice touch if it happened.

Here is an extract from Kevin Speight’s log of rigging activity to date;

“We have secured 1200 m of new rope and borrowed ironmongery. We have rigged the last pitch in Pippikin and bolted and roped a climb below down to the sump. Deaths Head is rigged to allow access to Lost Johns sump. Ireby Fell is rigged.
Large Pot is rigged. New Rift is rigged with diggers ' ropes. Shuttleworth is Rigged."

Russell Myers

100 MEMORIES - MAYPOLING NEW WORLD SERIES IN THE LITTLE NEATH RIVER CAVE

Glenn Hasbrouk in the entrance series of Little Neath. Photo copyright Chris Howes and used with his kind permission.
We have a double bill in the 'Memories' slot this week from Bob Churcher and Graham Mullan talking about the challenges of taking scaffolding poles underground. Bob starts off the story ...

By 1971 we felt we had exhausted the possibilities of bypassing the sumps (two, three and four) into downstream Little Neath, and had taken up cave diving in order to access the New World series....where we hoped we might find a way back over the sumps, or a way on, or even possibly another entrance.

However, it was soon apparent that although New World was another high level series, this time on the other side of the main streamway, once again it was choked at both ends with sandy deposits. We decided to try to explore the New World avens.

This was before the widespread use of bolts, and none of us were particularly good climbers, and anyway "elf'n'safety wouldn't have recommended high standard climbing in wellies beyond three sumps. So the obvious answer was the then common technique of pushing one or more scaffolding poles up the aven, with a wire ladder attached to the top end. The problem was how to get scaffolding poles that far into the cave through four sumps.

We managed to purchase aluminium poles from somewhere and started to experiment with attaching big plastic bottles to them at each end for flotation, but it was a great success as the saying goes, so each one had to be carried underwater through the four sumps. First problem was to find out how long a pole could be fitted through the boulder choke in Bridge Cave, (since nothing at all would fit down the entrance series to LNRC).

On the day we discovered we had slightly overestimated this (!), so Tony Boycott had to spend a somewhat nerve-racking time in the middle of the choke as we levered the poles in, (and the choke rumbled and groaned)! Then after the Bridge Cave sump, (sump one) they and the steel joints had to be carried down the main LNRC streamway, to the main sumps, and then dived one at a time through to New World.

Where we discovered that the avens didn't go! However, it was full marks for effort..... The only way to proceed was going to be more diving, but the end of Sump Four was said to be blocked, with no way on.......

Bob Churcher

Graham takes up the story, with some more details about the 'near miss' with the length of the poles ...

Bob is being generous in saying that ‘we’ had slightly overestimated the length of scaffold pole would fit through the boulder choke in Bridge Cave. This is what actually happened.

Tony Boycott had been charged by the rest of the diving team with checking whether a 10ft pole would fit, before the poles were purchased. The way to do this was to take two 5ft poles, of which we then had several, connect them using a standard clip and try to take them into the cave. Tony collected the poles from the tackle store and also collected Tessa Pearce and me to assist in the carriage. I’m not sure about Tessa, but this was to be my first trip into LNRC.

We duly arrived at the cave, connected up our burden and set off into Bridge Cave. Where we failed to get the poles through the choke. However, we argued that we had ‘only just’ failed and that if you took account of the extra few inches of length of the piece connecting the poles then the slightly shorter 10ft pole was bound to fit! After surfacing we took a quick look into Flood Entrance so that I could understand quite why not even a 5ft pole could be taken in that way.

Come the day the ever-dependable Tony took it on himself to guide the shiny new 10ft poles through the choke. This is where he discovered the flaw in our reasoning. Although the pole was very slightly shorter, it didn’t flex in the middle as our composite pole had. This new disadvantage rather outweighed the perceived length advantage, but Tony persevered and with a lot of effort and even more fear of being entombed, he guided the poles through.

Tessa and I had kept well clear and had sherpared rather more compact loads in via Flood Entrance. We did wonder why it took the Bridge Cave party quite so long to meet us at the downstream end of sump one.

Graham Mullan

100 MEMORIES - THE 1970 LITTLE NEATH RESCUE

Jane Mitchell in a wet section beyond the canal. Photo copyright Chris Howes and used with his kind permission.
And while we're on the subject of Little Neath, Bob has also told the sort of a wet Saturday in February 1970 when he and some other UBSS members were trapped in Neath by flood waters.

It was a cold, grey winter's day, and the Little Neath river was running quite well, but we thought (after some discussion) that there wasn't too much going down the entrance. There were five of us from the club, continuing the exploration and survey of the high level series which we hoped might provide a way over the sumps into New World.

We were up in the higher passages for some hours, but everything seemed to be choked with deep old sand deposits. Eventually it became time to end the trip, but on our return to the river it was obvious that something was very wrong - the noise from the river was deafening! We were all in (home made) wet suits, and we attempted to get out, but at the entrance to the entrance series it became clear there was no point, we weren't going to be able to get out.

One problem was simply the force of water crashing down the passage, another was that the entrance, being below river level, if off to the side, was going to be sumped. Accordingly, we returned to the high level series, and made a sort of nest in the sand, where we tried, somewhat ineffectually to get some sleep. Wet wetsuits in around 8 centigrade, are not really conducive to sleep! In many ways our main concern was the call out time, which we were going to be well over!

Every now and again one of us went out of the chamber to inspect the river in the main passage below us, but although the water levels were steady, in that they weren't any longer rising, our hope for exit was forestalled by the arrival of two members of SWCC. (South Wales Caving Club/rescue).

We went out with them, into a rather chilly dawn, to meet both the rescue, who had been trying to build a coffer dam with sandbags, the police, two fire engines bogged in Mr Lewis's field, two ambulances somewhat less firmly stuck, flood lights, generators, two fire pumps trying to lower a river in flood, and Uncle Tom Cobley and all ... not too mention many of the older members of SWCC.

They had all had a long night, and although possibly pleased to see us, were somewhat less than complimentary. These days I am sure we would have been wrapped up and carted off to hospital, but on that occasion we were simply told to do our penance by emptying and returning the sandbags,(as they all attempted to pack up and push off) to fill in the ruts in Lewis's field, and not to do it again.

Which we didn't......

Bob Churcher

COUNTDOWN TO CAVING ... WITH HENRY MORGAN

Henry also enjoys knitting!
Hello! I'm Henry and I came to Bristol as a fresher in 2018 to study Engineering. A few family friends had been cavers in their youth, and so I thought it was worth a shot to see what it was all about.

I quickly decided that cavers seemed more fun than the cyclists at Bristol and so ended up spending almost all of my time caving and none of my time working in first year (whoops, but I just about got away with it). I've had loads of great trips and met so many interesting and wonderful people so far in caving, and I'm really looking forward to the coming year with Freshers week just around the corner.

Ten words to summarise your caving career …
Plot, faff, drive, faff, eat, drink, faff, sleep, faff, cave!

Nine cavers (living or dead) you would like to go for a drink with ...
- Anyone in UBSS I haven't seen in the last year - It's been way too long since I saw everyone in the Eldon House all together, perhaps I owe a few of you a drink!
- The 'Young Tigers' of my Dad's old caving club (The Westminster) - So they can tell us how 'ard they all were and 'ow easy we 'ave it these days.
- Tony Seddon - Someone in the pub who won't get bored talking about the minute details of the new Petzl Stop, hurrah!
- Bob Churcher - Always fun to hear of your cave diving adventures Bob!
- Ben Wynn (my ex housemate) - So we can continue the debate as to the best way to wash rope;
= The lovely CUCC cavers I met last year - I barely got to go caving with you guys, we shall have to have a joint trip next year.
= Whoever wrote the Lionels Hole route description - They owe me a beer for the amount of times I've managed to NOT find the way on!
= The incoming fresh!
- Someone who can take me down the caves in Fairy Cave Quarry!

Eight things you never want/wanted to hear underground ...
- "It gets wetter this way…"
- That 'klunk' when your SRT kit rearranges itself under load, always gives me a shot of adrenaline.
- [When someone else is rigging] "It doesn't quite reach the bottom…"
- Clatter clatter boom (crab down a pitch!)
- "Do you want half a soggy Mars bar"
- Boulders rumbling!
- [Other people] - My singing!
- [When getting changed] "Who picked up the car keys?"

Seven public figures you'd least like to in go caving with ...
Snow White and] the seven dwarfs! - I wouldn't be able to follow them down tight leads!

Six of the weirdest things you've done, seen or heard of in connection with caving …
- Karaoke on the icy roof of a moving car
- Shared a bivvy bag with Simon Hadfield (sorry Si, but never again)
- Naked caving
- Cheese board in a cave (with immaculate crackers I must add)
- Cowstails pub crawl
- Been approached by police for practising SRTree at 3am

Five of your favourite caves ...
Trapdoor Pot
Swildons!
Coolagh River Cave
JH
Charterhouse

Four pieces of gear you've fallen in love with …
- My new Petzl Omni Screwgate
- Does beer count?
- My second hand holey wetsocks
- Anything from Alpkit!

Three of the best caving books you've read ...
Mendip undergrouunnnddddd
Caves and Cave Diving
Alpine Caving Techniques by Georges Marbach and Bernard Tourte

Two of your favourite caving regions ...
Yorkshire!
Yorkshire!

One thing you'd tell yourself as a fresher …
Get to know as many people as possible, and get on as many trips as you can! (Oh and your car will never ever be clean, just accept it)

COUNTDOWN TO CAVING ... WITH STEVE TRUDGILL

Steve in his homemade wetsuit in the summer camp at Little Neath River Cave, 1968.
I studied Geography at Bristol 1965 – 1968, PhD 1968 -1972. Early on, I spent some very happy weeks in McCarthy’s Cottage at Lisdoonvarna in karst landscape and caving while helping with the pioneering, of the micro-erosion meter. I joined the UBSS, discovering the joys of caving, the spelio hut with log fires, stews, cider and storytelling.

I went to Clare with Trat and Oliver Lloyd every year for seven years and a group of us readily went to Co Clare for our dissertations – me on surface karst landforms and others on cave microclimate and cave meanders. After graduation I worked for the Nature Conservancy, visiting all the limestone sites I could find in the north of England for their Review – ‘were all the best sites protected?’ I was all set to do my PhD on limestone erosion on the Mendips and Co Clare with Dingle Smith he asked if I wanted to go on an expedition and I said ‘yes. Where is it?’ and so I spent four months doing karst research on Aldabra Atoll, Indian Ocean.

My first lecturing post was at the University of Strathclyde with trips to the Durness limestone at Inchnadamph, karst water tracing in Jamaica and the International Speleological Conference (ISC) at Olomouc in Czechoslovakia. My second lecturing post was at Sheffield Geography Department where I stayed 20 years, including more trips to Clare, hosting the next ISC there and enjoying Study Leaves in Australia (Visiting Fellowship at ANU) and New Zealand (Auckland and Canterbury Geography Departments), and publishing my Limestone Geomorphology book. I then lectured at Cambridge and am now an Emeritus fellow of Robinson College. I have recently completed a book for Cambridge University Press: ‘Why Conserve Nature? Perspectives on meanings and motivations’ (due Dec 2021/Jan 2022).

Ten words to summarise your caving career ...
Anyone like to go to Co Clare helping postgraduate research?

Nine cavers (living or dead) you would like to go for a drink with ...
- Early cave man – so why did you do those drawings at Lascaux?
- Joseph Berger – how deep?
- Tony Waltham – “we should be back in good time” (Jamaica)
- Julia James – ditto
- Joe Jennings – “you have ruined my life, Joe, nothing else will ever be as good as this” (camped in the Australian bush with Joe at Yarrangobilly, with a camp fire listening to his stories after a meal with a glass or so of wine)
- Oliver Lloyd – and talking of wine, remembering that famous night of wine tasting – 9 different sorts; I could read my notes on the first three
- EK Tratman – to hear him say “they just would not listen” one more time – and anyway I owe him a drink after I had dented his car and he just said ‘never mind, can’t be helped, as long as you are alright, let me buy you a drink’
- Eve Gilmore so we can reminisce all over again
- Henry Morgan – because the pub was shut when he came to visit me

Eight things you don’t ever want to hear underground ...
- “I don’t think I can get my trousers off quickly enough” (an actual quote, but don’t ask…)
- “We haven’t surveyed this bit yet”
- “well the forecast did look good”
- “If we keep on digging here, we are sure to break through eventually”
- “I think we will have to repeat all the measurements, sorry”
- “I’ve just dropped my notebook in the stream”
- “Lets go and explore the bat cave. It has lots of interesting biology”
- “My Mars Bar is soggy”

Seven public figures you'd least like to go caving with ...
- Boris Johnson
- Ian Duncan Smith
- Jacob Rees Mogg
- Priti Patel
- The fat man with the twiddly moustache in the ‘Go Compare’ adverts
- Nigel Farage
- Katy Hopkins
(though if they all got stuck in Offal Swallet, that would somehow seem fitting)

Six of the weirdest things you've done, seen or heard of in connection with caving ...
- Made my own wetsuit (with a little help from my friends)
- Crouched in a stream for hours taking measurement to 5 decimal places
- Bought lots of tights (for charcoal for dye tracing, obviously)
- Been a witness in a Lisdoonvarna Court (with Eve Gilmore née Wheeler) in the prosecution of a rather sad mad Irish man who threw a stone at us.
- Woken up in McCarthy’s Cottage to find graffiti scrawled on the road that we were ‘Sons and Daughters of Beelzebub’ (see also item above)
- Found out (while cave surveying) that I was (then) six foot 1½ inches tall but six foot 6 inches from finger tip to finger tip - and that I could squeeze through a hole 7” x 11”

Five of your favourite caves ...
- GB Cavern
- Pollnagollum
- Cullaun 1
- Cullaun 2
- Ok, Ok, then Goatchurch

Four pieces of gear you've fallen in love with ...
- My own home made wetsuit.
- Those wonderful steel toecap boots.
- The first NIFE light after ages with of carbides.
- the trusty carabiner

Three of the best caving books you've read ...
- Tratman Caves of NW Clare (signed by Trat)
- I did enjoy Norbert Casteret, to an extent…
- Aquanaut by Rick Stanton

Two of your favourite caving regions ...
- Co Clare
- Mendip

One thing you'd tell yourself as a fresher ...
Just do it.

SAVE THE DATE - JRAT DIGGING AWARD

Fancy a trip to the Hunters' in November? Then save the date for the annual JRat Digging Award, where you can hear about everyone's success, or lack thereof, in the Plague Year!

FT BEAR READ TO THE END, DID YOU?

And the winner last time was .... drum roll ... Andy Farrant's out of office. But as we're not entirely sure the out of office messenger really had read to the end, the prize goes to Sharon Wheeler and the Blessed FT Bear, with a very impressive reading speed, and an equally obvious desire to procrastinate instead of working.

- Trust me, I r a gernalist! Good work, everyone. And eeeeek for the ceiling. [Sharon Wheeler and the saintly FT Bear]

- Having got to the chicken I have a question, what did Rupert Hay-Campbell, get his MBE for? Any idea? And I would love to take all of your suggestions caving , and leave them there! [Bob Churcher] [Answer, taken from University Alumni awards update: Rupert is Head of Architecture at Parliamentary Digital Service and the medal was awarded for services to parliament and to the community in Essex.]

- Another excellent newsletter. Its great to see the club going from strength to strength! [Chris Smith]

- The only thing is, I disagree with pretty much all the ‘least like to go caving with’ lists. I want to go caving with them all. Just think how many things can go wrong on a trip ... [Chris Howes]

- Finished. Disappointed to see that Grylls wasn’t top of your list. [Dick Willis]

- and enjoyed it! [Eve Gilmore]

- Brilliant! I think I was there for at least half of your 8. I agree with your 7 except for Joanna Lumley - substitute Elon Musk? [Tony Boycott]

- I read to the end every time (always excellent and no exception on this occasion) but rarely tell you I’ve done so. A nod for being the most northerly respondent? [Carol Walford] [Definitely! *nods to the north*]

- Hope your having a nice time n France. [David Hardwick] [The answer to that was a definite yes!]

Now, who read to the end this time? Late entries accepted! For those new to the game, there will be a splendid prize for the first person to read to the end and tell us that you did!

THE END